If you love your kids – spank
More children "spoiled"
John Unniawn
This is a booklet I have nothing to gain in writing. My motivation to write is weak; in fact I have put it off for months as a non-priority. I should mind my own business. –I know. Disciplining children is like religion; everybody thinks they’re right.
As I raise my children, I constantly watch other parents. Not necessarily out of respect, but if there is even one thing they are doing better, I steal it and apply it to my parenting technique. I’m simply passing along to you the single most important point of my years of observation.
If you are convinced you are raising the best-behaved children in the world and there is no room for improvement, give this booklet to someone else; you’ve just signed up for a lifetime of heartache — then bend down and ask your kids for their forgiveness of your pride and selfishness. When you refuse to love your children by properly disciplining them, you are turning your sweet, sweet babies into hellions that are not only spoiled rotten, but will give you and your closest relatives headaches for years and years. You’ll also begin wondering why your close friends seem to be fading or “just too busy”. No one will tell you anything; they’ll just avoid you. Maybe someone has dropped this booklet in your purse or bag. You are reading this now because someone cared enough about you to try to help; not because they are “better than you”. That’s silly. We’re all broken. We’re all learning. If you refuse to consider improving then you fail.
Fortunately the solution to get your sweet child back is simple. First, you must show love and spend time with your kids. If you asked them, would they say that you are their biggest ally and supporter? If they don’t, start there. I know your children are the smartest, cutest, and can leap buildings in a single bound, but still, ALL kids require spankings. If you don’t believe this, you are misled. You will raise a very “loved” brat. Again, are your friends and relatives avoiding your family? A simple, hard spanking solves mountains of hardship and heartache for you.
Without anger or yelling, and after only one warning, bare the bottom and slap it with your hand about 10 times almost as hard as you can. No more, no less; and no where else on the child’s body. When the cry of rebellion turns to a cry of desperation; stop. I have heard of parents who say their child will always remain defiant no matter what. Wrong. Simple solution, spank harder. There’s only one authority.
If there is a tantrum when you’re finished, you are half done. Do NOT yell and scream; THAT is abuse. Do not slap a face. Tell your child once and then expect obedience…don’t sit watching for a response – you are the leader!! Turn your back in trust. If they back-talk or ignore, spank as outlined above. Remember ONCE only! Then spank. You will have the best behaved children in town and regain their beauty and sweetness before you turned them into youthful pre-convicts.
Your child is not stupid, if you refuse to spank in public, that’s when they will embarrass you. Take them to the bathroom. Do this once, twice at most, and you’re done with it.
Immediately after the whimpering stops, take your most precious gift in your arms and explain why you had to discipline. It’s not your child; it’s what they did. If you are a believer, explain God disciplines His children as well.
Disciplining your child displays your own self-discipline. It shows your child that you believe in what you say and your willingness to back it up. THIS will always deliver respect and even admiration. In the animal world, there is quick and harsh discipline from mothers. Ever seen an old cow getting beat up by her nursing calf when the milk is gone? One good kick to the head usually does it. A momma lion’s loud, irritated growl and quick paw to the fanny of a too-playful youngster sends him reeling. We’ve all seen a momma dog snap at her young, energetic children when she’s had enough. We are the most intelligent animal, and so we give warnings. Give one, not 10. Even provide a time-out spot. But eventually you need to be able to back up your directives. All children need and truly do want clear boundaries in their lives. They might fight boundaries, but you’re doing a huge disservice not to provide them. And enforce them.
Tags: abuse, authority, body, child, dog, gift, hand, help, John, John Unniawn, love, nursing, ONCE, religion, respect, right, show, solution, someone, time
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Wow. And here I thought teaching your kids to hit was wrong.
I should not waste my time on this article, but want to say that spanking is totally unnecessary if you build a respectful and loving relationship with your children.
Parents who spank, simply do so out of frustration and hurt pride. Do you think Jesus would spank children?
This is very terrible advice. I would bet if I slapped Mr. Unniawn “almost as hard as I can 10 times” he wouldn’t think it trivial I can guarentee. If I targeted a sexual area of his anatomy such as his buttocks he might think it sexual assault as well. Yet he advocates we do this to our children of both genders.
If you think of your children as mules or dogs, even then this is bad advice, but you would be close to the “good old days” thinking on the subject.
Science is showing us spanking has many hidden harmful effects, and you don’t have to be a PhD or interested in science to see an internet filled with spanking and S/M lifetime fetishes often initiated by parental spanking and other humiliation and pain rituals imposed upon children.
The good news is there is no reason to spank. The New Testament does not contain one verse instructing anyone to hit any child, contrary to very common false teachings on the subject.
I’ve raised good children with very little spanking — and that little was due completely to my ignorance, as purported here, that it was “necessary.” My grandchildren are being raised now very well with no butt hitting. (that’s what it is folks — if we avoid the euphemisms).
We need to not just tell children not to be violent and to respect other’s “underwear area,” we need to model it also, particularly as they enter school age.
Children need to be corrected and they need discipline, but I do not believe they need very much actual punishment, and they do not need to be humiliated and hit at any time. For little children the tantrums are nearly always because they are tired or something is wrong they cannot verbalize. For older children there are other ways. There are many good books on nonviolent childcare. Read a few and experiment on your own. Sometimes it may seem like more work than hitting would, especially if you were raised with it, but being a good parent or grandparent is work, and the reward comes out over time.
By the way the kids that came to my house from “strict” homes were the most polite on the outside, and nearly always the sneakiest and most devious inside. That is what they were trained to be by being beaten down “for getting caught,” but no inward understanding.
It is refreshing to hear that there are others out there that still believe that spanking is an ok form of discipline. I by no means believe in beating your kids or child abuse but there is a happy medium, and by not doing a form of discipline ( what ever your beliefs are) is doing a great disservice to your children. If they go their entire life thinking that no one can ever discipline in the form of corporal punishment then they will have a rude awakening if they should have an encounter with the police. And police won’t take the “touchie feelie” approach.
I am thinking if application had been applied to Reyes or others that unstood boundaries, would Officer Brownlee and Reyes been alive today? There is a balance. Not done out of frustration or anger. Age appropriate behavior as a child learns by the age of 3 right and wrong. By 5 it is set. IF you doubt this, then you should research the 5 year old that killed another 5 year old.
The difference between a parent that is out of control and one that is balanced in their discipline is the encorporation of other disciplines as the child grows. You can tell a child to get down off a hot stove, not to climb but and physically put up barriers. Does that stop all children?
There are just to many people out there that don’t understand how gangs come together. Parents that care are ones that do discipline their child.
This article is a reflection of balance in a time to get some answers answered. Leaving marks, brusies is not discipline.
This article is nearly laughable, but mostly i feel so sorry for your children. Spanking has and always will be a tool for parents to release pent up frustrations and anger they feel towards there children for there misbehavior. Its almost ALWAYS more of a benefit for the adult doing the spanking, and NEVER really a benefit for the child. I feel the ONLY time spanking may be appropriate is when trying to teach that dangerous things do hurt. Like running into the streets, “spank that boy”, he will then have a small inkling of what may happen. Obviously getting hit by a car hurts a lot more than a spanking but the association is there.
I have twin 8 year old boys that are quite the little hellions. They are rowdy and FULL of personality. I love that about them and so does everyone else they meet. They are quite the little characters, and Knowing what i know now, I could never spank that out of them. I try hard to allow there personality’s to develop naturally and when there is something bad that they may have learned from other children, or even adults, i speak to them as if i was speaking to a young adult. I explain in detail why this behavior needs to get under control. How it is there responsibility to get there emotions in check, also making it clear that i will help in anyway that i can, without enabling them. I make them realize that its these sorts of behaviors that will land them in jail and prison as adults if they do not learn to deal.
Teaching your child that hitting is a better alternative than talking things out and getting down to the root of there anger and frustration, will inevitably lead to them hitting others when they cant control there emotions. Hitting is simply a lazy mans discipline. I’m not a perfect parent, no parent is and if they claim to be, then there full of it. I have tried corporal punishment before but learned quickly it never works.
What does work is treating each child as an individual young adult. I always say were not raising children, were raising men, so treat them as such. A child is much more likely to respond positively after being treated as your equal, even when a punishment for bad behavior follows.
Spanking does for a child’s development exactly what wife beating does for a marriage. It’s an abuse of power, and its toxic effects become apparent sooner or later.